Seashells and wave echoes
swirled and laughed in the emptiness behind my eyes.
But now I have let them go, sent them away,
unlocked the door and set them free.
The remaining empty space is vast, but quiet, and soft.
Yet never truly empty despite my best efforts
for when I’m not looking, the wave echoes return to roll around the edges of my inner space
They blend with a stillness that never stands still,
and become a part of the flow and wash in the space behind my eyes.
It is an expanding space that can hold everything and more.
More me, more us,
together in the completeness of warm love and peace.
So come my love, kick off your shoes and dance with me again.
Listen to the song of the seashells and watch…
watch the empty space fill with us and only us.
Catch the wave echoes when they come around again and
this one last time,
It’s too late now.
No point in trying to start over.
It is back.
Same but different.
I feel like I’m waiting.
Waiting for life to pass as children do when they play games
killing time to grow up.
I’m killing time to die.
But it’s not a sad state.
It feels normal.
A part of the progression of life.
Moving toward the end,
is smooth and well… it’s okay.
I feel sometimes like time has stopped.
My quest for life’s riches has ceased to be important and, in its place,
is a quiet resignation, a comfort.
Gratitude fills me with the knowing that all is as it should be.
There truly is a time for every purpose under heaven…
A Story I Tell Myself
It is a story I tell myself.
I repeat it over and over until
it becomes my story, my plan, my hope and
for a while, just a little while,
I am able to convince myself that it’s all true.
It sinks in, it makes sense, it’s easy and right.
Yet it remains just a story I tell myself but
Even he believes it.
An epic love is one we knew in our deepest heart space.
A love that remained in secret, just below the surface and still does.
The one we don’t ever speak of, it’s too painful.
A love where all the signs and signals said “beware”, “stay away”.
It was a Cinderella fantasy come to life.
A love to good to be true and was.
It was the kind of love that will stay in our hearts and at the edge of our minds forever.
It was a love that was never meant to last.
It was too passionate, too intense and raw to maintain forever.
It came into our hearts like an avalanche of emotion, a storm of lust.
And just as violently as it came, it was gone leaving us lost and broken.
But in spite of the pain, it changed us for the better.
It changed us into women who felt a level of passion and love we will never forget,
could never imagined was possible and one that may never come again.
If we are honest with ourselves, we knew from the beginning that it was a love that was never really ours to keep.